Well, it's here. A Merry F'n Christmas! ...as Dennis Leary told us earlier. Today was our last show until the year 2007! Crazy. I swear this week just started. I swear this YEAR just started! Is it true that the older you get, the faster the years go? I know the older I get the faster I have to go. I brought Dunkin Donuts and their coffee in today and 3 donuts, 5 bathroom breaks later, here I am, doing my '06 sign-off blog. And no, it wasn't all that caffeine that made Giant Brian pull a Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka into the Christmas tree this morning. He's just an animal.
And a darn good guy too! The man himself just handed me a giftcard a second ago. And Jen just left me with a bottle of wine minutes before! I tell ya, John don't hire no slouch! Which makes me wonder why I'm still here. Good thing I went all out and got everybody coffee and donuts! ......... I plead the 5th. The intern 5th. Let's hope I have enough gas money, combined with my girlfriend to even get HOME this Christmas! I'll be alright...
And I hope all of you lovely listeners are alright. Better than alright! I know I am... John just threw yet another present into my lap! Himself. I'm kidding! Wow this is nice though, thank you to everyone on the show who has helped me out this year. John, Jen, Brian and Go Go. The whole posse- couldn't think of a better group to start out with in radio. Thank you! But LISTEN, I hope all you listeners have the Best Christmas Ever, truly, madly, deeply, sincerely... It's been lovely talking to/ meeting/ screening/ taking sh*t from you at the tail-end of this year! Look forward to a great start in '007!
Much love and Holiday cheer... MERRRY CHRISTMAS!
Peace in the Northeast, Good will toward the Eagles.
Intern Dave.
Friday, December 22, 2006
Thursday, December 21, 2006
It's Crunch Time
I realized today on the show, after John went off about his Christmas predicament, that I too was in the same boat. I swore I was on top of my "To Buy" list, but here I am just FOUR days from the big day and I gotta admit, I'm screwed! I think this year more than any other, I just have been too busy to realize that's it's the season. This is it. Why hasn't it hit?! I've been driving past all the beautiful, festive home decor in the Northeast every night! The lights tangled lazily around the front bush, the lights circling around the Big Wheel that's half-buried in the front yard, the signs are all there! The negro Santa Claus, face cleverly layered in thick brown sharpie. All true accounts! I don't know how the spirit of the season hasn't hit hard yet for me. Kinda hard, though, when these past few weekends I didn't know whether to shop or sunbathe.
Inevitably, my mission for Friday and Saturday is "git err done." The shopping. All of it. Preferably at places where claustrophobia isn't mandatory for check-out. And if that doesn't work out... hopefully I'll at least get a good story or two out of it. Stay tuned, good luck shopping, and if you're girlfriend or wife is telling you she doesn't want anything this year- SHE'S LYING!
Cheers, from the Northeast Pole.
Inevitably, my mission for Friday and Saturday is "git err done." The shopping. All of it. Preferably at places where claustrophobia isn't mandatory for check-out. And if that doesn't work out... hopefully I'll at least get a good story or two out of it. Stay tuned, good luck shopping, and if you're girlfriend or wife is telling you she doesn't want anything this year- SHE'S LYING!
Cheers, from the Northeast Pole.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Oh Holy Nightmare
Wow. What a show today. Let me first apologize to all of John's faithfuls that have to stick with him through thick and thin (and off key)! I rolled out of bed at 5:20 this morning, got to the station late and all of a sudden I am doing a little of this, little that, some announcing, throw in some soloing... and the wine had to come YESTERDAY!
So... you heard it. "My turn" or so I thought, at being hazed into the JDB club. They got me! I fell for it. I admit it. Us interns... middle name: Gullible. But guess what? We also thrive on pressure. I put pressure in my cereal bowl when I wake up... just for flavor. I wipe my ass with pressure. Double-ply. I mean what do you think they teach us kids in college?? Guess what you are feeling when you are hoisted up, 6 feet in the air, upside-down, tap in mouth, everyone chanting your name?! You got it. What's it like choosing between Dave Matthews Band, The Dead or a Phish album for your dorm party?! There it is again. That's right... pressure. And we learn to embrace it!
So, I hope I did just that today. Hope y'all enjoyed my Christmas solo! Truth be told, I hadn't been that nervous since I first found myself in the production studio alone with Go Go. But it was fun! Singing. Not... yeah. You get it. Right... so then, I'm out like AI!
Peace in the NorthEast.
So... you heard it. "My turn" or so I thought, at being hazed into the JDB club. They got me! I fell for it. I admit it. Us interns... middle name: Gullible. But guess what? We also thrive on pressure. I put pressure in my cereal bowl when I wake up... just for flavor. I wipe my ass with pressure. Double-ply. I mean what do you think they teach us kids in college?? Guess what you are feeling when you are hoisted up, 6 feet in the air, upside-down, tap in mouth, everyone chanting your name?! You got it. What's it like choosing between Dave Matthews Band, The Dead or a Phish album for your dorm party?! There it is again. That's right... pressure. And we learn to embrace it!
So, I hope I did just that today. Hope y'all enjoyed my Christmas solo! Truth be told, I hadn't been that nervous since I first found myself in the production studio alone with Go Go. But it was fun! Singing. Not... yeah. You get it. Right... so then, I'm out like AI!
Peace in the NorthEast.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Trading coffee for wine...
So last week on the show I started my caffeine withdrawal. That's right, I'm only an intern and I'm already on a Just Say No to Coffee (JSNC) campaign. I am working with my demons, alongside the moral support and steadfast encouragement of Go Go, who has been equally caffeine-free as of late. Well... today on the show, my JSNC policy was interupted by the PLCB! What the hell does this mean?! Basically one substance was switched for another. Yes, the head of the Liquor Control Board of Pennsylvania stopped by. Of course he brought booze! Wine, to be exact. No more coffee at 8am. Wine! Bottle of red. Screw the bottle of white, Billy. Good old fashioned holiday wine. The general consesus was the bottle of "Abbey" was the champ. I'll have to find out it's exact name by tomorrow. It makes for a great impression on your significant other's parents. Especially if you just blurt out the pompous jargon on it, like aficionado AND chairman Jonathan Newman did this morning. I was taking note. Try something like this...
"Yeah, uhh...the NOSE on this bottle is pretty, pretty...it's good. It's strong. And it's a beautiful vintage...yeah...uh huh, very retro. Very groovy. Yes. The aromas are delicately balanced, with a distinct, sexy, FUN body...isn't it FUN?! Ahh! To die for, oh yes, delicious viscosity"
Just trust me. TRY it. You'll have the in-laws in your back POCKET! Who knew coffee was so boring?! Ahhhahaha, ah hah, ahh....uhhh. Actually I could go for one now. Strong. 3 creamers, hold sugar. Ok, forget what I said about the wine, I need a nap! See y'all tomorrow.
"Yeah, uhh...the NOSE on this bottle is pretty, pretty...it's good. It's strong. And it's a beautiful vintage...yeah...uh huh, very retro. Very groovy. Yes. The aromas are delicately balanced, with a distinct, sexy, FUN body...isn't it FUN?! Ahh! To die for, oh yes, delicious viscosity"
Just trust me. TRY it. You'll have the in-laws in your back POCKET! Who knew coffee was so boring?! Ahhhahaha, ah hah, ahh....uhhh. Actually I could go for one now. Strong. 3 creamers, hold sugar. Ok, forget what I said about the wine, I need a nap! See y'all tomorrow.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Hit n' Run, Part Deuce
Ok, so where'd we leave off? I was in hot pursuit of some frat boy on the streets of Philly (who knew a hit-and-run could sound so gay). That's the predicament I found myself in, and I wasn't about to get out of it! So I'm weaving through streets, traffic lights, this jerk-off is just trying to lose me, we're going through neighborhoods... and it was in a suburban neighborhood that I finally called off my hunt. Lame. I- Yeah, I know. Trust me, not the thrilling conclusion I was looking for either. But I was instructed by the 911 operator to call off the chase. Don't get hurt, she says. Don't get into another accident. On and on...And I TOLD her it was just some chump in his dad's sedan, probably driving home from a beer pong tournament! Let me at him! Doesn't a hit-and-run change the rules? Aren't I granted extra rights? A vigilante pass...a don't ask/don't tell policy, maybe a citizen's license to kill?! Nope. I had to call the chase off...
Then wait for a cop to come and tell me it was out of his district, I had to return to where he struck.
Then call the district it happened in, the next day.
Then come back to the district to file my report in person, not over the phone.
Then screw all that.
Good thing it's easy to bring people to justice these days! Gives me a nice, warm, safe feeling inside. So basically, the lesson here is... if you happen to bump a car, make a lil dent, maybe a scratch here or there... TAKE OFF! You know, it's no biggie. Lil' tappy-tap on the fender? Move along! Cause the guy you hit is gonna have to go through a more rigorous process than applying for a gun license! So remember that, listeners. I'm only here to help.
More pics to come, I hope you all have a Merry Chanukah!
Then wait for a cop to come and tell me it was out of his district, I had to return to where he struck.
Then call the district it happened in, the next day.
Then come back to the district to file my report in person, not over the phone.
Then screw all that.
Good thing it's easy to bring people to justice these days! Gives me a nice, warm, safe feeling inside. So basically, the lesson here is... if you happen to bump a car, make a lil dent, maybe a scratch here or there... TAKE OFF! You know, it's no biggie. Lil' tappy-tap on the fender? Move along! Cause the guy you hit is gonna have to go through a more rigorous process than applying for a gun license! So remember that, listeners. I'm only here to help.
More pics to come, I hope you all have a Merry Chanukah!
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Hit and Run!
Yep, I was involved in one the other day. Victim! Not culprit. And yeah, surprisingly it did not involve a Scion xB speeding away with a Giant at the wheel. You may remember a few weeks back, John's call about Brian- "Most likely to pull a hit-and-run" But I gotta vindicate the man... definitely NOT Giant Brian who rear ended me. Ok, bad choice of wording.
At any rate! One of my part-time gigs outside the show... I'm somewhat of a soldier in the war on obesity. And I never embellish. So... I'm on my normal evening delivery route, dropping coolers of health food off to "busy professionals" all over the DeBellaware Valley, and some dopey tan sedan plows into me from behind, while I'm trying to make a right at a light!
Ok, not a biggie. My neck was still in place, I got a plastic fender. Let's pull over and do the info trade. Maybe I can snag a couple hundred out of a claim. Maybe there's nothing and we move on with life...
"Errrrrrscrreeech" I look in the rear-view to see fratboy on his cell phone pullin a Dukes of Hazzard to get around me, then he proceeds to fly out into the intersection on a getaway! Exactly. Aww hellll no! Here's where JDB Show comes in handy. Acceptable or not acceptable to be victim of a hit-and-run when your car and body are still functioning? That's right. U-freakin-nanimous UNACCEPTABLE!
So I floor every ounce of the 20 horses powering my lil' Saturn wagon and we got ourselves a hot pursuit! I'm flashing my lights, laying on the horn, waving frantically to pull over... this asshole is acting like he's drivin' to Grandma's house for tea and Bible stories!
So I fumbled for a pen and try to make out his license plate... I'm not lying the first 3 letters were "MGK" in the distance. Is it Giant Brian?! Extreme bit for the show? Hey, interns got arrested before, who knows?! But I threw my lil wagon into 5th and sped up to see that it really was "GMK". Ok, false alarm. But this fool still hit me and he's not getting away with it! What happened next? Stay tuned to find out... !
And keep watching for the next chapter (photo) in "Drinking with DeBella"
At any rate! One of my part-time gigs outside the show... I'm somewhat of a soldier in the war on obesity. And I never embellish. So... I'm on my normal evening delivery route, dropping coolers of health food off to "busy professionals" all over the DeBellaware Valley, and some dopey tan sedan plows into me from behind, while I'm trying to make a right at a light!
Ok, not a biggie. My neck was still in place, I got a plastic fender. Let's pull over and do the info trade. Maybe I can snag a couple hundred out of a claim. Maybe there's nothing and we move on with life...
"Errrrrrscrreeech" I look in the rear-view to see fratboy on his cell phone pullin a Dukes of Hazzard to get around me, then he proceeds to fly out into the intersection on a getaway! Exactly. Aww hellll no! Here's where JDB Show comes in handy. Acceptable or not acceptable to be victim of a hit-and-run when your car and body are still functioning? That's right. U-freakin-nanimous UNACCEPTABLE!
So I floor every ounce of the 20 horses powering my lil' Saturn wagon and we got ourselves a hot pursuit! I'm flashing my lights, laying on the horn, waving frantically to pull over... this asshole is acting like he's drivin' to Grandma's house for tea and Bible stories!
So I fumbled for a pen and try to make out his license plate... I'm not lying the first 3 letters were "MGK" in the distance. Is it Giant Brian?! Extreme bit for the show? Hey, interns got arrested before, who knows?! But I threw my lil wagon into 5th and sped up to see that it really was "GMK". Ok, false alarm. But this fool still hit me and he's not getting away with it! What happened next? Stay tuned to find out... !
And keep watching for the next chapter (photo) in "Drinking with DeBella"
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Better Late Than Neva...
Here's some insight into the start of my initiation into DeBella DeBalldom...
Bourbon Attack
More to come, from John's attempt to put hair on his intern's chest. Stay tuned!
Bourbon Attack
More to come, from John's attempt to put hair on his intern's chest. Stay tuned!
It's Hump Day
Wednesday, of course. Sickos. This week really has been flying by...the show seems to be flying by faster than it ever has. Guess time really does fly when you're having fun! ...and talking to callers. LOTS of callers! The phones have been blinking more than an epileptic at a Pink Floyd concert. Lots of stuff goin on this time of the year in radio! We just keep givin ishh out. So listen! Constantly. Every day. Trust me, no show makes a better alarm clock than The John DeBella Show. Go ahead- try it. I mean, did you hear Brian gettin' his "Shout" on today? If that doesn't jerk you awake and make you wanna jump out of bed for dear life... well, I don't know what will. Maybe Go Go singing "I'm So Sexy." Ok, forget that was ever mentioned. Annnyyway... speaking of the DeBall, I gotta get my personal stash of pictures uploaded. That's my goal for the afternoon. Check in later for an intern's-eye view of what happened!
As always, peace in the NE.
As always, peace in the NE.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Wassail Tov?
That's right, Wassail Tov! That's my holiday invention for the year...what do you think?! Mixing a door-to-door celebration of song and booze with an old Jewish blessing of good luck and fortune. Pretty badass, huh? I mean it's fun, seasonal, multi-cultural! I think I've got something here. How about this... Everyone start calling in and requesting that I, Intern Dave, need go out in the DeBellaware Valley and wassail up a freakin' storm! I could go on a mini-in-home-listener-sponsored tour. "Open your doors to the JDB Show and let John's intern sing you an old tune, wish you fortune, and sample your spiced wine" Just a sip, or 6. Genius. Any takers??
Ok, maybe I am delusional from my even earlier alarm clock as of late, due to the absence of Giant Brian. Fear not, though, the man, the myth, the behemoth WILL be back in-studio tomorrow! Minus the asscot. To that I look forward to, but even more exciting right now is the hearty NAP I'm about to take. Which I've needed since the DeBall. It's time has come. My time has past. Wassail Tov!!!
Ok, maybe I am delusional from my even earlier alarm clock as of late, due to the absence of Giant Brian. Fear not, though, the man, the myth, the behemoth WILL be back in-studio tomorrow! Minus the asscot. To that I look forward to, but even more exciting right now is the hearty NAP I'm about to take. Which I've needed since the DeBall. It's time has come. My time has past. Wassail Tov!!!
Monday, December 11, 2006
Hangover Post
So here I am, back in action on the DeBella Show, writing the obligatory and proverbial "hangover" post. It was a beautiful thing, taking Friday off. Especially with the full understanding of my colleagues. Whoever came up with that idea deserves a raise! Not in the budget? Lunch with the intern...on me. Takers? Anybody? Anyon- ...*ahem*...uhh...ok, forget it. The DeBall was indeed a freakin' ball! I had a great time out at the Sheraton, that is, my lovely lady and I (as she would correct me) had quite an extravagant night of walking around, rocking around, eating things we could never afford, in clothes we (I) could never afford...stalking the rockstar otherwise known as John DeBella... I was a groupie! I admit it! First time in my life that I combined my boss, myself, and a bottle of bourbon into a picture (or whatever that stuff was). And...yes...I suppose it was the first time a boss of mine groped my girlfriend. In front of me. Anything for a promotion! But heyy... it's been a week of firsts, what should I expect.
3 extra hours in bed, 4 painkillers and about 5 glasses of water was my prescription for a fun-filled Friday, WITHOUT worshipping the ivory bowl. Oh, and a vitamin. I'm taking my own advice. I'd pay money to see John's wake-up though! Sounded like his night lasted much longer than mine. And that's how a 25th annie SHOULD go down. I'm proud of the man!
Thanks to all 3 of you blog readers who stumbled upon me there. I was right on the money! I knew you were out there...nice meeting/chatting/whatever else I might have done... What a blur. Shout out to all the lovely staff at WMGK, everyone looked great out of casual Friday mode... shout out to the guy who kept the drinks flowing after the open bar shut down upstairs (if you could stomach oysters in your vodka), and lastly shout out to all the guys without dates who kept me busy playing overprotective boyfriend- Hope you lucked out at the bars later!
Let's do it again. Only 361 days left!
3 extra hours in bed, 4 painkillers and about 5 glasses of water was my prescription for a fun-filled Friday, WITHOUT worshipping the ivory bowl. Oh, and a vitamin. I'm taking my own advice. I'd pay money to see John's wake-up though! Sounded like his night lasted much longer than mine. And that's how a 25th annie SHOULD go down. I'm proud of the man!
Thanks to all 3 of you blog readers who stumbled upon me there. I was right on the money! I knew you were out there...nice meeting/chatting/whatever else I might have done... What a blur. Shout out to all the lovely staff at WMGK, everyone looked great out of casual Friday mode... shout out to the guy who kept the drinks flowing after the open bar shut down upstairs (if you could stomach oysters in your vodka), and lastly shout out to all the guys without dates who kept me busy playing overprotective boyfriend- Hope you lucked out at the bars later!
Let's do it again. Only 361 days left!
Thursday, December 7, 2006
It's Dress Up Time
Time to act like a grown up! At least on the surface... As most of you know, it's here. Today is the infamous day. Time to go out, get measured up, shine the shoes, comb your hair, comb your mustache, and of course, convince your sweetheart she looks amazing and can stop freakin' out! The DeBella DeBall is indeed tonight. I am personally very excited about this...lucky bastard I am, to have stumbled into this station at such a momentous time! Not too shabby for my first radio event. Gotta give my girlfriend strict cut-off orders. If there's anyone getting the wounded-soldier treatment outta the Sheraton, it's John, NOT his intern! Should be fun though, seeing everyone dolled up, who I otherwise always see in a perpetual "Casual Friday" state. Gotta love radio. Although my money says if you lift up Go Go's penguin suit, you'll find a an Eagles sweatshirt underneath. Go ahead, try it!
So I'm out of here! Lots of grooming to do, gameplanning for how I'm getting home. Any hotel parties?? Find me. I'm gonna ask Giant Bob and Patti Carothers... if you're flyin' in- you're getting wild. OK...I have an appointment at whatever shop it was that had the cheapest tux for rent in town. Hopefully they have stain insurance.
See y'all tonight!
So I'm out of here! Lots of grooming to do, gameplanning for how I'm getting home. Any hotel parties?? Find me. I'm gonna ask Giant Bob and Patti Carothers... if you're flyin' in- you're getting wild. OK...I have an appointment at whatever shop it was that had the cheapest tux for rent in town. Hopefully they have stain insurance.
See y'all tonight!
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
Back In Action
Or is it just plain "inaction"? Don't answer that! I forgot to stretch before going through the radio motions this morning, and got a C- on my report card. Which is passing for college! But for JDB 101? Hopefully I'm getting graded on a curve. Curves are good. Giant Brian has them all over his computer wallpaper. John's mustache! Hmmm...
Whatever the case... t'was a welcome return to the MGK studio today for yet another radio adventure! December 1st was my last stint and I apologize. A lot has happened since then. I found myself everywhere from a treestand in the backwoods of Quakertown, PA to Time's Square, New Yawk City. I found myself in a variety of situations, saw a pitbull fight at a dogpark, caught a great rock show, killed some Mexican (food), and did everything from stringing up a deer to Christmas lights (more on that later). Long, eventful hiatus I done had. Even for the doldroms of intern life!
Tomorrow is the big one though. I gotta have my gameface on for sure. DeBella De-freakin-ball! Hope to see the 3 of you who read this there! I'm off to the tux rental joint...
Whatever the case... t'was a welcome return to the MGK studio today for yet another radio adventure! December 1st was my last stint and I apologize. A lot has happened since then. I found myself everywhere from a treestand in the backwoods of Quakertown, PA to Time's Square, New Yawk City. I found myself in a variety of situations, saw a pitbull fight at a dogpark, caught a great rock show, killed some Mexican (food), and did everything from stringing up a deer to Christmas lights (more on that later). Long, eventful hiatus I done had. Even for the doldroms of intern life!
Tomorrow is the big one though. I gotta have my gameface on for sure. DeBella De-freakin-ball! Hope to see the 3 of you who read this there! I'm off to the tux rental joint...
Friday, December 1, 2006
Weekday Warrior
So there it was! It's in the books. My first official full-length week on the John DeBella Show. What a freakin' blur! From over 6,000 turkeys, to people stuffing their faces for cash, to metrosexual proclivities, bad names, throw in celebrity shamings, a few rants, and a Bob Saget on top... *whew* I barely had time to change my outfit. Brian told me to yesterday though, so I did. And what happened? The phones went down. But John prevailed. One of the biggest lessons I've learned from him so far- Don't panic. Just curse.
Seems to work! All in all I'd say we had a great week of radio, I certainly enjoyed it. I am thankful to be a part of this lil camp here... even if I do get ambushed with surprise letters from my girlfriend on the air! She's allowed to talk her "isshh" (radio edit). Afterall, she really does put up with 3 snoozes at 5am each morning. Although I must say, being the kind, considerate boyfriend that I am, I changed my alarm from Verizon's kooky "Ring 3" to the dreamy "Arabesque". It's like... waking up on a carpet ride with Aladdin.
Right. On that note! Until next week...
Peace in the Northeast.
Seems to work! All in all I'd say we had a great week of radio, I certainly enjoyed it. I am thankful to be a part of this lil camp here... even if I do get ambushed with surprise letters from my girlfriend on the air! She's allowed to talk her "isshh" (radio edit). Afterall, she really does put up with 3 snoozes at 5am each morning. Although I must say, being the kind, considerate boyfriend that I am, I changed my alarm from Verizon's kooky "Ring 3" to the dreamy "Arabesque". It's like... waking up on a carpet ride with Aladdin.
Right. On that note! Until next week...
Peace in the Northeast.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Listen to your mom...
Take your damn vitamins! And get a good night's sleep. More than 5 hours. More than 6 hrs. Especially in morning radio. John told me my second day in... "You think it's easy now, don't ya...punk. You got up early 2 days in a row...just wait til WEEK 2 hits!" I don't know why I made him sound like Dirty Harry there, but... my point being- PROBABLY shoulda taken the advice of someone who's been getting up before the crack of dawn for longer than I've existed.
I've been telling myself (at the behest of my girlfriend) START POPPIN' VITAMINS! I'll even consider going oldschool, a bottle of Flintstone's...anything! They make up for those missing 2 hours of sleep, they are tasty, and all kinds of other neat things. Scared of getting rickets or bleeding diathesis? Pop a lil D2, maybe a lil vitamin K. Bam. Blocked. 800% daily value and whatnot. Give it to me! What do I got to lose? Maybe it was fate then, that I found myself in conversation today with John and Giant Brian over Betty Rubble. Not on the health benefits of eating her, but rather, how hot a piece of cartoon ass she was. To which I agreed! But I am going to take that as a sign, an omen of sorts. I am leaving the station today and searching out a big fat bottle. I refuse to remain sick and miss out on my first full week of The JDB Show! Not happenin'.
And Bob Saget's calling in. I'm there.
I've been telling myself (at the behest of my girlfriend) START POPPIN' VITAMINS! I'll even consider going oldschool, a bottle of Flintstone's...anything! They make up for those missing 2 hours of sleep, they are tasty, and all kinds of other neat things. Scared of getting rickets or bleeding diathesis? Pop a lil D2, maybe a lil vitamin K. Bam. Blocked. 800% daily value and whatnot. Give it to me! What do I got to lose? Maybe it was fate then, that I found myself in conversation today with John and Giant Brian over Betty Rubble. Not on the health benefits of eating her, but rather, how hot a piece of cartoon ass she was. To which I agreed! But I am going to take that as a sign, an omen of sorts. I am leaving the station today and searching out a big fat bottle. I refuse to remain sick and miss out on my first full week of The JDB Show! Not happenin'.
And Bob Saget's calling in. I'm there.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Acceptable is UNacceptable!
So today on the show we learned that "metrosexuality" is apparently on it's way out. Call me skeptic, but until all men's pink undershirts get the disco treatment, a la Shea Stadium... the metros are here to stay! Today, after the 5 phonecall jury yielded a decisive and SHOCKING verdict- that manicures were ACCEPTABLE, I just gotta say... interns aint always dumb. So get that straight. We know a thing or two! Ok, a thing.
But honestly, come on loyal classic rock listeners! Y'all are from the days of blue collar grit, dirty jeans, American cars, songs about chicks, booze and workin in factories! What happened to all that?! Hell, even housewives had more balls than your average dude on the street today! Ok to get your nails done?? I'd rather scratch them on a chalk board.
Now I know what you're saying... Dave, come on, you have to have some nasty little girly secrets hidden in the man closet... no way you're getting off this easy! OK. Fair. Point taken. I'm no Hulk Hogan, Rambo, or the ultimate... Bond. I'll admit, my ass is as smooth and round as the day I was born... BUT! If it WERE a hairy, mangey mess like most dudes, I would NOT be seeking out a wax job. Some things are just meant to be. Like men being men.
-MAN(not)I(n need of)CURE
But honestly, come on loyal classic rock listeners! Y'all are from the days of blue collar grit, dirty jeans, American cars, songs about chicks, booze and workin in factories! What happened to all that?! Hell, even housewives had more balls than your average dude on the street today! Ok to get your nails done?? I'd rather scratch them on a chalk board.
Now I know what you're saying... Dave, come on, you have to have some nasty little girly secrets hidden in the man closet... no way you're getting off this easy! OK. Fair. Point taken. I'm no Hulk Hogan, Rambo, or the ultimate... Bond. I'll admit, my ass is as smooth and round as the day I was born... BUT! If it WERE a hairy, mangey mess like most dudes, I would NOT be seeking out a wax job. Some things are just meant to be. Like men being men.
-MAN(not)I(n need of)CURE
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Give Me Money!
No, not because someone dropped the N-bomb on me. Those don't hurt. The Crack-bomb? That's in the job description for living in North Philly. What I'm talking about is my dead-set LOCK of Scott winning the Biggest Gainer contest! The man did not disappoint. And speaking of bombs... that guy dropped a 19 POUNDER on those 4 other poor contestants yesterday. We shoulda thrown down money on it in the studio. Even if it was one of DeBella's famous dollar bets. That coulda been one delicious bag of party mix from the kitchen vending machine. Oh well... there's always more competitions in radio.
Not only competitions, but swanky affairs too, it seems. I gotta say, I'm starting to feel the heat from this DeBella DeBall. My girlfriend has been in a tizzy over the fact that I'm going to have to track down a tux. And wear it. For a whole night. Last time I did that, I still had my v-card, a bad case of pimples and a hard time finding someone to buy the liquor. But I'm up for a challenge! Maybe we should take bets on how many stains I'll have to get removed the next day...
Not only competitions, but swanky affairs too, it seems. I gotta say, I'm starting to feel the heat from this DeBella DeBall. My girlfriend has been in a tizzy over the fact that I'm going to have to track down a tux. And wear it. For a whole night. Last time I did that, I still had my v-card, a bad case of pimples and a hard time finding someone to buy the liquor. But I'm up for a challenge! Maybe we should take bets on how many stains I'll have to get removed the next day...
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Biggest Gainer??
We shall see who it is on Monday! My money is going to stay on human-bio Scott. I'm highly doubting the will of the women to have any astronomical increase of weight broadcast all over the tri-state area. I'm tempted to go with the fan favorite, Tiny, but I'll stick with my first instinct. Don't know about you, but I am very excited about this, as it is my first in-studio contest! If you tuned in today, you would know I am definitely NOT in the running. Only the kind that happens in the hallway outside the studio when Tiny is called in. I gotta be honest, this guy makes Giant Brian look like Tiny Tim. I probably looked like the zipper on Tiny's jeans, standing next to him. A true competitor.
So that was my morning. Not your average week (2 days) on the John DeBella Show. Before I forget, I would like to take use this paragraph to wish my fellow co-workers/ tormentors a most joyous Holiday! Watch the turkey hangover, have fun with the in-laws, and don't get caught playing footsie under the table with your cousin. Happy Thanksgivin'!
Peace in Pilgrim land.
So that was my morning. Not your average week (2 days) on the John DeBella Show. Before I forget, I would like to take use this paragraph to wish my fellow co-workers/ tormentors a most joyous Holiday! Watch the turkey hangover, have fun with the in-laws, and don't get caught playing footsie under the table with your cousin. Happy Thanksgivin'!
Peace in Pilgrim land.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Where's John?!
Today was an interesting way to start the week. I gotta start out and say... it's a lot of fun walking in and seeing my man Go Go behind the wheel! While John, Brian and Jen braved the elements outside today in search of turkeys, Go Go and I held the fort down back at the station. And much to everyone's surprise, you didn't hear any dead air, botched phone calls or equipment explosions. Mission accomplished. And I've never had so many conversations about turkey in my life. The lines were FLOODED with charitible people... so thank you to everyone who helped us out. That's right, not one jerkoff call the entire morning! It sounded like the Turkey Drop was a resounding success. Much love.
So, that slams the book on my first "remote" experience in radio. Not too shabby of one either, with all our MGK troops deployed around the DeBellaware Valley. Quite the crash course in remote broadcasting... I gotta throw props to Professor Rich "Go Go" Russo for his teaching! Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Eve. You might say I'm excited.
Turkeys fight food insecurity! Donate, y'all.
So, that slams the book on my first "remote" experience in radio. Not too shabby of one either, with all our MGK troops deployed around the DeBellaware Valley. Quite the crash course in remote broadcasting... I gotta throw props to Professor Rich "Go Go" Russo for his teaching! Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Eve. You might say I'm excited.
Turkeys fight food insecurity! Donate, y'all.
Friday, November 17, 2006
Best Buy. Worst Result.
I want to start this post out by saying that working in a radio station does NOT curb your manly instinct to indulge in slick new electronic gear. After spending each morning watching DeBella navigate the master controls of the WMGK mothership, I definitely start to get the techno-itch. And last night... I scratched that bastard. Sort of.
See, I've been struggling through a battle most guys can relate to. I was on a mission to buy a new, top-o-the-line, mirror spinning, plasma-dripping, LC whatever- I NEED A BADASS TV! Period.
I spent too much time writing down the names of our listeners who won plasma TVs THEMSELVES. I want in! And since I'd be carted off to jail for trying an in-station prize scam (Brian pussed out) I decided to just go down to the local Best Buy and do the damn thang. Sure, I'm broke, but that's what credit is for. Yes, mine is still in the 3 digit category, but that's my problem. Not yours.
Long story short, I went through the hassle of haggling, price-matching, rebates, promotional offers, free tv stands, blah blah blah... had the deal of a lifetime. Put $900 on credit. Paid $600. Debitted $115. Filled out the warranty card. Validated my Reward Zone. Sold my soul as collateral. And what happened next? TV wasn't in stock.
Gotta run! Gonna go home and pass out to HBO on my 14" Samsung picture box.
Peace in the Northeast Best Buy. Unless they don't have my TV by Monday.
See, I've been struggling through a battle most guys can relate to. I was on a mission to buy a new, top-o-the-line, mirror spinning, plasma-dripping, LC whatever- I NEED A BADASS TV! Period.
I spent too much time writing down the names of our listeners who won plasma TVs THEMSELVES. I want in! And since I'd be carted off to jail for trying an in-station prize scam (Brian pussed out) I decided to just go down to the local Best Buy and do the damn thang. Sure, I'm broke, but that's what credit is for. Yes, mine is still in the 3 digit category, but that's my problem. Not yours.
Long story short, I went through the hassle of haggling, price-matching, rebates, promotional offers, free tv stands, blah blah blah... had the deal of a lifetime. Put $900 on credit. Paid $600. Debitted $115. Filled out the warranty card. Validated my Reward Zone. Sold my soul as collateral. And what happened next? TV wasn't in stock.
Gotta run! Gonna go home and pass out to HBO on my 14" Samsung picture box.
Peace in the Northeast Best Buy. Unless they don't have my TV by Monday.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Somebody stole my Starbucks...
And I'm pissed. Not at whoever nabbed it, but at myself. Idiot! I mean, I saw this day coming a mile away. It's an office. It's sharing one fridge with 50 other humans. What do you think would happen if you shared a bank account with 50 other humans? Or a girl with 50 other frat brothers? Think about that one. Ok, I know bankruptcy and herpies hardly compare to losing a bag of buzz, but come on! Doesn't take long to realize that in office-culture, coffee IS the gold standard, the hot chick everyone wants. Coffee is the lifeforce. People walk into the kitchen and see an empty pot and it's like they got stood up on prom night. I can relate! I had a hot Latin American blend date taken from me...in a plastic bag no less, tucked away in the back corner, behind some sissy-ass yogurt containers. Prime spot. Or so I thought...
I'm an intern. We learn things the hard way. Thank God for Go Go and his dark roast. And Giant Brian's hot cocoa (gay). I'll be back in action tomorrow... Turkeys are ideal, but I'll accept a coffee drop if there are any takers! Must. Stay. Awake. Thank you, goodnight.
Peace in the Northeast.
I'm an intern. We learn things the hard way. Thank God for Go Go and his dark roast. And Giant Brian's hot cocoa (gay). I'll be back in action tomorrow... Turkeys are ideal, but I'll accept a coffee drop if there are any takers! Must. Stay. Awake. Thank you, goodnight.
Peace in the Northeast.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Happy 24th Year in Philly!
I gotta start out today by saying congratulations to John... you have been gracing the airwaves of Philadelphia for exactly as long as I have existed. On August 8th, 1982, my mother had enough! After 10 months of lugging me around inside it was time to expose me to the world. And although I'm sure your debut, just 2 months later, did NOT involve a scalpel, stomach staples and anestegia... God nonetheless smiled when it happened. And then regretted it for the rest of time.
Go Go! Get the hell out of my cubicle so I can finish this blog in time! F'n Go Go...
So...as I was saying, I have to throw some props to the man who has graced the greater Tri-state area with HIS presence for just as long as I've been around. Fate? Destiny? Probably not. All I know is, John, if and when you ever quit radio, let's hope I don't keel over dead. I will haunt you.
Peace in the Northeast.
Go Go! Get the hell out of my cubicle so I can finish this blog in time! F'n Go Go...
So...as I was saying, I have to throw some props to the man who has graced the greater Tri-state area with HIS presence for just as long as I've been around. Fate? Destiny? Probably not. All I know is, John, if and when you ever quit radio, let's hope I don't keel over dead. I will haunt you.
Peace in the Northeast.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
On Your Mark. Get Set...
BLOG?! Apparently so. John DeBella demands it- I obey. Why, you say? Because I'm his intern, dammit! It's just what we do... and love to do, at that. Swear. Yeah, I know... "Don't take any crap from anybody (microphone off) ...unless you're an intern! WahAhaha*nose sound* hawaha ha" That's how it is. There's your insider's look for the day. More to come! Like what Giant Brian doesn't want his wife to know... but I digress. After several weeks of early alarm-setting, story-searching, stack-stapling, show-stopping shenanigans... I find myself here. With you, online, faithful JDB listeners. You are inside the mind of myself, Dave the Intern. "The internal intern". Be glad you have the luxury of tuning in and out of it! I'm stuck here. Peer in anytime you like... I'll be dishing the juice on all the crap I DO put up with from this big dumb show, and the even BIGGER dumb show I like to call... Life. Peace in the Northeast.
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