Monday, April 30, 2007


I think that's how you write it. Cut me some slack! I just said it, yelled it, for the first time yesterday. And boy did it feel good! My first Jewish wedding. All I gotta say is, let's call a spade a spade- it's a bigass party.

The food, the people, the Hebrew... 'Grannies Gone Wild' on the dance floor... Enough wine to hold world-wide communion... pretty wild stuff. I'm a simple Gentile! Not privy to this stuff! I felt like a stranger at a Sopranos family reunion, only with smaller food portions and no pervading fear of losing my life. Pretty rowdy stuff though, for Sunday night.

But I made it to work today! I know some other fellow attendees will be succumbing to "the morning after" disease. It's ok- there's a cure! Water. Sleep. And... more sleep. Pretty sweet cure, I know.

Anyway, when I get home today perhaps I'll dig up a picture to post from my momentous, unprecedented experience. I'm easy to spot- the white guy without the yarmulka!

And yes, I had to look that up. And it is really spelled like that.


Thursday, April 26, 2007

Craving Some Pastime

With Bill Giles in the other day and this current 5 game winning streak, I gotta admit... I am in desperate need of a Phillie fix! And not the kind you can find on a corner in Germantown. I gotta get me an ice cold beer, a warm Spring day and a decent seat at Citizen's Bank!

I'm feeling like a fake fan lately. Now 20 games into the marathon otherwise known as a baseball season... what are they, I guess 12% done?! Unacceptable. I deserve a fastball to the groin. Thrown by Randy Johnson... after he discovers his wife has been cheating on him. I'm ashamed! If John Kruk found about this, he would teabag me. And I would still be able to see out of one eye. So I guess that's where the Randy Johnson fastball should go!

Ugh, don't take after me true Phillie fans! Get your asses out to the park. Go today, go now! Tailgate, drink, chant, cheer, throw things, yell TO Sucks, whatever! And look for John, Jen and/or Brian today and realize I am there too... in spirit. My heart is in it. I just don't have any stubs. Soon! Payday is tomorrow. I'm coming for you "Flash"! I love you Chase! I want you Charlie! Oh wait...

Monday, April 23, 2007

Is that SUN?!

It is. It was. How sweet is nice weather?! Everyone is in a good mood... the Phils start winning... I even saw a pigeon sharing a street bagel with stray cat. But that was on 4-20. Probably the heat!

Anyway, I stayed in Philly the whole weekend. Truly a rarity, at least in this intern's life. Seeing as how practically everyone I know from college has moved out (back home, mostly). AND both mine and the girlfriend's kin reside in the Lehigh Valley (NOT the Poconos, as John swears!) we end up going home most weekends. But not this time!

Yesterday we might as well have been down in A.C. You coulda caught us two honkies, we were brightening up our Northeast neighborhood in the "backyard," which in reality is a 5 x 15 plot of concrete surrounded by chain-link fence. Nevertheless, we made it our beach as we layed out on our slick new Kmart loungers. We had Scrabble out, our sun tan lotion, wine... basically an unprecedented showing of whiteness in the nieghborhood. And it was heaven!

Until my skin started to peel. But hey, it's NICE! Who cares?!? I WANNA BURN!

Go outside.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

2 Week Hiatus?! Well...

I apologize, loyal intern-supporters! Supporter? Anyone?! Got-damn. I hope someone is still out there... I feel like I'm back out in the Noreaster! Alone, adrift. Only this time it's cause I slacked. Well- I'm back like Don Imus. Oh wait...

In case you were worried, I was allowed back in, off my cutting-edge weather post. Jen was getting pissed- I was infringing on her show territory! At least that's what Giant Brian told me. So it's probably not true.

Anyway, I checked and it's been 2 weeks since I told intern tales. And those were not 2 weeks paid vacation- to quote Aerosmith and your middle school crush, "DREAM ON!" A lot has happened in the inter(n)rum... mainly, a lot of rock n roll... both at the station, at home jamming with friends, and out on the Philly rock scene. A lotta shows comin up for me and my gal, including last nights's Electric Factory pummeling by Sevendust.

Do yourself a favor before you die. The next time you're mad as hell and not gonna take it anymore?! Get yourself a Sevendust ticket. Go early. Get a spot as close to the drum set as possible. Remain patient through the ear-drum rape otherwise known as the opening acts. Or, build your anger for the release you will get once Morgan and co. take the stage. Once the lights dim, direct your attention to the floating armada that makes up Morgan Rose's drum kit, pump fist in the air and commence the ROCK. He will not disappoint! Forget the feng shui office with a shrinky-dink mulling your problems. Watching this guy bash his kit in for an hour and a half is my therapy! It's a freaking rush and a half. Picture watching a manic octopus of rock battling for his life! Yes, octopi have been known to give the finger. A lot.

...just take me up on it. You will understand. You will love it. Your wife will shake her head.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Spring Sprung

I know I said I'd continue my movie rental battle of the sexes, but I'm putting it off until I go to "the Block" tonight. My girlfriend has been fixated on this "Pursuit of Happyness". And that's how they spelled it, and no I don't have any idea why. But yeah, it's the father-son, cutesy shmutsey bonding flick with Will Smith and his son. She doesn't get it. I'll go appreciate something like that when I have rugrats of my own. Until then, I only wanna see Will Smith shoot at robots, thank you very much. If I'm pursuing happIness, I'm going to the 'Action' or 'Horror' section, not a sappy "just the two of us" melodrama. Pardon my inner guy.

And I know, Will Smith is Philly-boy turned good and all but come on! At least romantic comedies have babes and keen insights as to how females work. Some redeeming, useful qualities! I have a great dad. I don't need to pursue happyness with the Fresh Prince.

But anyway... what do I wanna talk about. The weather. Thank the Lord this crap came down today and not yesterday! If you heard the drama of "Deadliest Schkuykil Catch" play out, you'll know what I'm talkin' about. Had it been coming down yesterday like today, I mighta been getting rescued by the Penn row team. Gotta say though, it was quite the expedition. Be ready for more tours of duty in the future...

I gotsta run. Put the cell phone down and turn your wipers on. Thank you all, goodnight.