Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Drum-down the Masses

People love the drummer, they just don't want to admit it. We are the attention magnet of the band... stop averting your eyes to us! The most physical element (right, ladies?). Not to mention, the heartbeat of the music! So get off us. And start respectin' my stick(s).

And since I have to rush out of the station today due to academic reasons, i.e. smart things, I will leave you with... what else? Me playing drums! And cartoons.

Ok, maybe we aren't entirely intelligent.


Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Super Bowl for Super Cheap

I was telling the gang during commercial breaks today about my weekend activity... siphoning High Definition out of the atmosphere- free of charge. I should be on Mythbusters. Can't get decent programming that looks decent without paying decent bucks for a premium cable package that rapes your checking account monthly? Think again. (side note: for dramatic effect, always italicize verbs) (in case you haven't figured that out yet) (then I just told)

Anyway...yeah! I went to Best Buy and bought a slick TERK amplified HD Antenna for a kinky $69 and I got a tip about the website from a kind gentleman off Craigslist. Wow, 3 plugs in one sentence... that may be a record. In any case, I located my house on a map and followed directions as to where to point my antenna. And wouldn't you believe it, come 9:00 last night, the beads of sweat on Jack Bauer's face where dripping into my living room! It worked, and it looks unbelievable.

3, 6, 10, Fox, CW, PUBLIC ACCESS! All crisp, all widescreen, all free. But you know what? The news looks almost too real now. HD News?! Ehh... unnecessary. It's weird! It's not human. It's too perfect. It's like the make-up works against them now. These people aren't real! It scares me. Feels eerily sci-fi or something. Who knows, maybe I'm just a hick. But a resourceful one! Good luck to anyone following in these paycheck-to-paycheck footsteps.

Peace in the HD-ready Northeast!

Friday, January 26, 2007


It's freakin cold. And officially, I declare- winter did not hit until last night. My bed sits right under 2 windows whose draft would make Vietnam blush. Not a charming wake-up scenario. Not an easy car warm-up. But! After 5 efforts of restarting my engine, I got her purring and made it in before the stroke of six.

And then had to go right back out and do the naked weather report.

Honestly, had John gone out and done that, his mustache probably would have shattered if he smiled. I aint used to this yet! This weekend I need to find a hat. Maybe a station morale booster?! Cheap gift, but USEFUL! Everybody wins.

Speaking of this weekend, this afternoon even... my girlfriend is doin the ol' walk. NOT the walk of shame (we live together, or she would). The walk. The diploma strut. The thank god-I-am-done-having-to-drink-crap-beer-and-listen-to-mundane-roommate-conversation-while-eating-ramen-noodles-trying-to-study-some-dumbass-assignment-just-to-get-a-decent-paying-job-someday-dance!

And quite frankly, I am extremely proud of her. And excited to hang with her parents and make fun of them when they start crying. I'll do the same when my parents show up next Thursday at Temple. I am still bitter that technically, she is graduating before me. But if anyone should, I'm glad it's her, and not... my younger siblings. We are both the eldest child, so it should be pretty epic for our families. I will report from academia when I return...and yes, the Cosby watch is on! I can only hope.

Peace in the North Broad St. auditorium this afternoon!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Are you a Leo? Let's ride.

So I've been praying it doesn't snow later. My old Saturn wagon has yet to test those waters, err, drifts. And I got my 6 hour delivery route tonight, stretching from Delaware to Hatboro, PA! But as I brought up Internet Explorer, I found some solace in a small link on the home page.

According to a study by, a Web site that quotes drivers on insurance rates, astrological signs are a significant factor in predicting car accidents. Leos (July 23-Aug. 22) and then Geminis (May 21-June 20) were found to be the best overall. Leos, described along with the study results, are "generous, and comfortable in sharing the roadway."

8-8-82, bitches. Smack-dab in the cusp in sight. And I take pride in my Leo-ocity, for many reasons, but I never knew this! We are not only King of the jungle, but apparently the roadways as well (too bad I-76 usurps my power on a daily basis). But it's true... you normally can find me roaring up the right lane, cruising at a 28 mpg, 55 mpH. True, once my speedometer approaches 65, my car starts to sound like an industrial fan that's been left on for a 5 years, but... that's how I roll.

Leos also don't believe in jinxes. I'm serious. Really.


Peace in the snow-free Northeast!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Quothe the Raven (Part Deux)

So me and my lovely gal show up at The Old Mill Inn to check out Grover's Poe Show. Apparently the place is haunted. Either that, or YOU are supposed to feel like a ghost when you try to order something. Or pretty much get any kind of service at all.

We tried to get drinks upstairs and wait to see Grover. "No room at the bar". Ok, well... guess we can grab a quick appetizer or two at a table downstairs and wait? "Ummm... maybe. Let me check to see if we can do that." 10 minutes later we're seated. Server with Marilyn Manson lipstick says she'll be right there. 10 minutes later we're still seated. Server keeps taking dirty plates from all around us, but no orders. Are we ghosts?! Holy crap, I'm starting to feel like Hayley Joel Osment. I wish Bruce Willis was with me! Maybe he coulda jabbed an icicle into this girl's eye... After probably 15 MINUTES 38 SECONDS she saunters over, and those wretched black lips crack open to sneer "Okaayyy... sorry bout that, what can I getcha?"

Well, we came to see Grover's show, and we wanted food and drink before, but now since he's on in about 10 how bout I just rip out your tell-tale heart and use it for a prop in his show? Thanks.

So I did. It was a mess... but I managed to make a mean Bloody Mary out of it. Me and my date left the incredibly hospitable confines of the lower mill and went up to salvage the night, a la Grover Silcox. I had no idea what was in store, but DAMN! This man loves Poe! And is no joke when it comes to reciting his classics. Very impressive. Shout out to my man Grover. You rocked the stuffy joint. Worth every penny of the $10 gin and tonics we were served at the hostess stand before going up!

So that was that. From chains to seeing dead people. I know it sounds like a weekend Scrooge would be enjoying, but NO! Intern Dave, reporting the wonders that make up my life. Hope you enjoyed.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Quothe the Raven...

Nevermore... take Intern Dave's football advice. To be fair, I guess you could take half of what I say for what it is. The bad news? Eagles lost to a team that didn't even make the Super Bowl. Good news? Peyton came through, as I said/hoped/pleaded. Now we have 2 weeks to plan a badass football party. More on that to come...

As for my weekend, I did a lot of different things. On Saturday, my girlfriend and I set out to break the chain. Letter, you say? NO. Trespass somewhere? Nope. The Chain Restaurant! We have been dating for over a year now, and have somehow managed to escape the banal propensity of most young folks to end up at Applebees. Or Chiles. Bennigans? Bet Again. TGI Fridays? TGI Never Have Been There.

So it was with bittersweet anticipation that we headed to Macaroni Grill Saturday night. If we were going to break this chain(less streak) we were going to do it right! We were going to the top of the chain heap. Quality Italian chainosity. Then we found out you had to make reservations 2 hours in advance. Ahhh yes. Forgot about that factor. The weekend factor at chain restaurants. The chainsanity. Maybe this was a bad idea...

So we tried a strip mall Mexican place. It was full of retirees and waiters with arm napkins. Me and my girl walked in and it was like Tommy Lee showed up to Mother Theresa's funeral.

Next stop? Old Mill Inn (Grover was doing his Poe Show!). I'll leave the Adventure in Chaindom right there until tomorrow. 24-hour Intermission! Deal with the anticipation.

Our soup of the day is... Peas in the Northeast.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Intern Pick 'Em

I decided to follow up Jen's predictions with my own... and I did not overhear these down the hall at WPEN. These are my own stone cold locks. Bet the farm! Whatever that means.

I am really thinking Top Dog vs. Underdog. Gotta go Colts/ Saints!

That's right, Peyton vs. The Bayou. From teacher's pet of the NFL to national villain in just one game. Imagine the drama... the Colts' hopes of stopping the Cinderella story of the New Orleans Saints' season. From Peyton to "Seyton". I'm telling you, that's what I'm feeling! Take it or leave it.

Honestly, I hope the Saints make it, but even more-so, I need the Patriots to lose. I can't TAKE it anymore. They have become the NY Yankees of the NFL, I mean every year! Enough already! Enough with the cut-off hoodies and the cutie quarterbacks. Leave! Go away! They are just soooo boring. New England? Give me a break... I wonder what all those timeshare Super Bowl parties are like.

Happy NFL Playoffs to all!

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Let it snow... somewhere else.

I just want to start out this blog and thank the good Lord for the lack of winter wonderland this year. Because to be certain, if we DID have one at this point, I would be walking in it. Without even the consulation of a fire to conspire next to. So I'm throwing it out there now: first semi-decent snowstorm, I will most likely be writing this blog from my living room that show day.

"Winter is to Intern Dave's station wagon as the playoffs are to Philly sports teams"

That actually showed up on my first SAT exam. True story. Followed by...

"Snowstorm is to crap Saturn as Superbowl is to --" OK YOU GET THE PICTURE!

My car is just bad. Terrible. To be fair, I do drive it about 500 miles a week. So what? Gotta make a living somehow. Should that validate the wheels slipping when I run over a puddle of malt liquor? Or popping a flat just cause I ran over a spent bullet casing?! Hmm... on second thought maybe it's not the car, just the city. Nah. It's the Saturn. What is that anyway? Is that even American? Sounds pseudo-Japanese. What, is it supposed to be from another world?! Saturn, pfff! What kinda assinine boomer burn-out CEO came up with that idea. "Yeah, ya know, it's like...the car of the future maaan... it's like you're drivin' on the moon, bro. The public is gonna dig."

No, the public is gonna get pissed. Especially after your 3rd tow-truck rendevous at 2am, in whatever ghetto you broke down in, with the assistance of some ex-con from a no-name garage in Fishtown. KINDA makes you wish Saturn would just make like Pluto and get the hell outta here! 'Nuff said.

Peace in the hopefully break-down free NorthEast.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Go Phils!

I had 2 days to rant. Not touching it. Besides, it feels like Spring, which means baseball is on my mind. And it will STAY on my mind, because where there's Ryan Howard, there's hope. Oh, and solid starting pitching. Which we should have this year! I'm telling you, if there's any team to break this city's 24 year drought of sports championships... but your blue collar dollar on the Fightin' Phils.

And speaking of 24... I am in desperate need of the past 2 episodes of the TV show. The one that kicks all other shows asses. Yeah, that's the one. Feel free to either punt them or pass them up my way (longer than 15 yards) to WMGK/ JDB Show, One Bala Plaza, Suite 339, Bala Cynwyd, PA 19004! I will be forever grateful! And mention your name on the air. And rig contests for you. Thank you.

Ugh, why Andy?? WHY!?! How could- ....15 yards! That's all! What the -- *sigh* Go Phils.

Friday, January 12, 2007

And you thought Fabio had driving troubles...

Well, turns out he did. And it was a let down. But it was getting lost and being split up from his wagon train of followers that did it! Not the cops pulling him over. Like they did to me...twice... in the past 2 weeks.

Never before in my life have I been pulled over until now! TWICE! Within 10 days! DRIVING A SATURN STATION WAGON! I'm trying to come to grips with the how and the why. One thing must be said... I am by no means a Sunday driver. There's serious mileage under my belt. I have driven bakery vans in NYC, tour vans across country, MGK station vans with bad brakes... I have seen more white lines than Studio 54 in the 70's. And when do I get 2 tickets? Driving through the suburbs of Philly on my delivery route, in a station wagon!

It's true. Life isn't fair. You just got accept that and as John knows, "Look on the brightside of life!" Which is excellent advice. But I'll tell ya, after 5 hours of a delivery route, with one stop left in Hatboro... falling prey to a stop-sign ambush kind of puts a kink in your day! But it happened. I slid through one on a dark, deserted suburb street, and out of the shadows comes Captain Priority! Keeping the mean Hatboro streets safe from station wagon propulsion. In the 1st degree. I premeditated that awful, heinous semi-stop!

So anyway, I have about $223 in city debt now, and a couple citations whose grammar resembles that of a 2nd grade book report. Honestly, I gotta respect cops for their hard line of work. But Dammit! These guys I got "barley" knew how to "compleat" a sentence. Quotes there for a reason.

So be careful, fellow wagoneers of minor-offensive-tendencies! Sure, 4 thugs on ATVs just zig-zagged down the middle of Broad St, and a tinted Buick with cheap rims just crossed 4 lanes without one blink, and hey! Look over there! A hit-and-run of a nun with candy, teddy bears and an infant in her arms! But hey... you slid through a suburban stop sign goin' 3 mph. Book 'em.

Rant over. Back to the brightside... it's Friday! GO BIRDS!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

It's Working!

Heyyy folks! Sorry about yesterday's lack of blog. Apparently either "blogspot" was overrun by traffic, or the more likely explanation- our computer system just flat out sucks. In any case, today it's working. Today I'm working (thanks to double-bagged pots of Folgers) and today the show was working... which isn't always the case with an in-studio guest! But, yeah... how about that Ant? Who knew people under 5 feet were so hilarious?! And you know, John was right. During commercial breaks ius when it got gay. REAL gay. I felt like I stumbled headfirst into a supermarket tabloid rack. I swear, Ant chatting it up with Giant Brian was like witnessing David and Goliath host The View. Minus The Donald insults.

Good time today though. If I had cable, I'd rush home and see how John's tangerine and periwinkle comes off on the tube! Sadly, I don't. But I will. As many of you know, God's greatest gift to television starts up again for the 6th time this Sunday. That's right. The one, the only, the American James Bond... 24 !!! My big plan is to find an HD antenna off Craigslist and tune that sucker in, via free cable cord sticking out the back of my living room carpet. I'll update my progress this weekend. Lord willing, I'll have 42" full, crystal clear high def digital numbers counting down in my living room come Sunday. That and Eagles numbers counting UP on Saturday!

Pretty sure that you're gayyyyyyyyyyy.

Peace in the NorthEast.

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

De'Bella, De Ball, and Tigger!

One is a porn star. One was injured during a Denise Austin workout. And the other preys on children at Disney World! Just another day on The John DeBella Show. As far as Mondays go (and for me Tuesday is Monday), not a bad way to "claw" my way back into the workweek. HA! Hahaha ha...a heh...heh... uhh... yeah.

That's why I leave the humor to the John and gang. Anyway... Mummers! Eagles! What a kickass weekend for the city. My Mummer's Parade virginity was broken. Me and my gal waded through the throngs of mostly drunk Italians all over Broad St, and had a great time being the only sober folks out on Saturday morning mumming it up. So, if you saw that guy in the crowd with the Budweiser case over his head... not me. Nor was I in face paint, under an umbrella or strutting my stuff in a fat suit. But it was fun to watch! Only thing missing was street corner stores with "Big Ass Beers" for sale. And of course beads.

Then Sunday, the Birds moved in the first direction toward ANOTHER kind of parade! So this week, they advance to the land of Mardis Gras, speak o' the devil. So listen up, Saints- here's the deal. You get a parade every year... no matter what. With naked women, no less. How bout you just let us slip on by this year, huh? Cool. Thanks. The Super Bowl aint no big deal anyway, I mean the chicks there have to wear pasties!

This year has been off to an amazing start. Keep em crossed for more of the same. Until tomorrow, loyal listeners... I'm off to download "Da Bigger, De'Bella"

Friday, January 5, 2007

Santa Claw

Guess I'll have to get used to it. I have been dubbed "The Claw" as of 6:15 am this morning. Serves me right for going after John's stack of stuff! Intern faux pau. Yep, that's me looming over Jen to the right there. I went for her later. Sometimes I dress like the invisible man, so what? You can't see me. But John did. All I wanted to know was the odds on the playoff games (as if I have any money to risk losing right now). But I can pretend, and feel good then when I'm wrong on each bet and never put any money down in reality! Ha!
Anyway, laugh it up. What's odd is, I may have the most menacing nickname in radio intern history. Usually they are just like, "Pete the Virgin" or "Freeloader Danny". I'd tear those fools in half!
I can just see it. "Oh, hey... how's your intern working out for ya? Wow. Real go-getter? Funny guy, huh? Yeah. Mine mangles listeners." Great. Hey, it is what it is.
Anyway, Sometimes I hope this blog translates to at least one person out there (of the 3 readers). I need a good, hearty nap. It's been tough getting back into form. By next week I'll have it down! Unless the Eagles lose. Then... well, Giant Brian probably be the only one that shows up. Only way to find out is to keep listenin'! Shameless.
Ok, I'm off into the sunrise! Peace out, Go Birds.

Thursday, January 4, 2007

Almost Playoff Time

I was reading through the papers today and started to feel like a real lameass fan. In all the hustle and bustle of the holidays I keep forgetting the Eagles are in the playoffs! It's crazy, the NFL playoffs are this weekend! Holy weekend with the boys. I don't know how this hasn't been on my mind... I guess time flys when you have a winning streak. They start in 2 days, the Eagles seem to have a great shot at another run to the Big Bowl, and if they don't make it?? Well, it's hibernation time until Opening Day at Citizen's Bank. I like my sports outdoors.

If the Eagles lose on Sunday, the Enquirer's sports section might as well just go away. Switch it classifieds! "In Search of...cyanide". Maybe full page Zoloft spreads... year round. Actually, just move the sports section under "Crime Report".

The Eagles can be a much-needed hero for this city, at the start of this 2007. Keep them ham-hand fingers crossed!

Peace in the NorthEast.

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

007 is Upon Us!

Hey! Happy New Year to all you in the DeBellaware Valley and beyond... freakin' 007. This HAS to be a good year! Full of adventures... martinis... babes... Oddjobs. I have a feeling I'll be experiencing most of the latter. But I DID dabble in the others already! I join John in the 'chilled out' holiday experience. High school reunion night at the local bar was not in my agenda. Nor was going anywhere near a Wal-Mart, or any other potentially suicide-inducing shopping... place. I'm 24, and guess what? That's the age where staying at home with your girlfriend's parents, a few good friends, tequila and a coon hound sounds like a GREAT plan.

But what a feeling, coming back to the show after a healthy one and a half weeks! It feels like going back to school after summer break, or maybe seeing an old girlfriend after a couple years. And yes, I happened to embrace going back to school. Shut up. And no, none of the JDB cast is an ex-flame. So put them Jen Posner rumors to rest!

Being back feels good. All three of my alarm clocks worked this morning (sorry babe)! Got here on time, had a good show. It's been a good start! Now if the Eagles win this week, I won't know what to do with myself... guess I'll just wait for those martinis and babes. Happy New Year y'aaalll!