Friday, December 22, 2006

TGIXmas

Well, it's here. A Merry F'n Christmas! ...as Dennis Leary told us earlier. Today was our last show until the year 2007! Crazy. I swear this week just started. I swear this YEAR just started! Is it true that the older you get, the faster the years go? I know the older I get the faster I have to go. I brought Dunkin Donuts and their coffee in today and 3 donuts, 5 bathroom breaks later, here I am, doing my '06 sign-off blog. And no, it wasn't all that caffeine that made Giant Brian pull a Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka into the Christmas tree this morning. He's just an animal.

And a darn good guy too! The man himself just handed me a giftcard a second ago. And Jen just left me with a bottle of wine minutes before! I tell ya, John don't hire no slouch! Which makes me wonder why I'm still here. Good thing I went all out and got everybody coffee and donuts! ......... I plead the 5th. The intern 5th. Let's hope I have enough gas money, combined with my girlfriend to even get HOME this Christmas! I'll be alright...

And I hope all of you lovely listeners are alright. Better than alright! I know I am... John just threw yet another present into my lap! Himself. I'm kidding! Wow this is nice though, thank you to everyone on the show who has helped me out this year. John, Jen, Brian and Go Go. The whole posse- couldn't think of a better group to start out with in radio. Thank you! But LISTEN, I hope all you listeners have the Best Christmas Ever, truly, madly, deeply, sincerely... It's been lovely talking to/ meeting/ screening/ taking sh*t from you at the tail-end of this year! Look forward to a great start in '007!

Much love and Holiday cheer... MERRRY CHRISTMAS!

Peace in the Northeast, Good will toward the Eagles.

Intern Dave.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

It's Crunch Time

I realized today on the show, after John went off about his Christmas predicament, that I too was in the same boat. I swore I was on top of my "To Buy" list, but here I am just FOUR days from the big day and I gotta admit, I'm screwed! I think this year more than any other, I just have been too busy to realize that's it's the season. This is it. Why hasn't it hit?! I've been driving past all the beautiful, festive home decor in the Northeast every night! The lights tangled lazily around the front bush, the lights circling around the Big Wheel that's half-buried in the front yard, the signs are all there! The negro Santa Claus, face cleverly layered in thick brown sharpie. All true accounts! I don't know how the spirit of the season hasn't hit hard yet for me. Kinda hard, though, when these past few weekends I didn't know whether to shop or sunbathe.

Inevitably, my mission for Friday and Saturday is "git err done." The shopping. All of it. Preferably at places where claustrophobia isn't mandatory for check-out. And if that doesn't work out... hopefully I'll at least get a good story or two out of it. Stay tuned, good luck shopping, and if you're girlfriend or wife is telling you she doesn't want anything this year- SHE'S LYING!

Cheers, from the Northeast Pole.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Oh Holy Nightmare

Wow. What a show today. Let me first apologize to all of John's faithfuls that have to stick with him through thick and thin (and off key)! I rolled out of bed at 5:20 this morning, got to the station late and all of a sudden I am doing a little of this, little that, some announcing, throw in some soloing... and the wine had to come YESTERDAY!

So... you heard it. "My turn" or so I thought, at being hazed into the JDB club. They got me! I fell for it. I admit it. Us interns... middle name: Gullible. But guess what? We also thrive on pressure. I put pressure in my cereal bowl when I wake up... just for flavor. I wipe my ass with pressure. Double-ply. I mean what do you think they teach us kids in college?? Guess what you are feeling when you are hoisted up, 6 feet in the air, upside-down, tap in mouth, everyone chanting your name?! You got it. What's it like choosing between Dave Matthews Band, The Dead or a Phish album for your dorm party?! There it is again. That's right... pressure. And we learn to embrace it!

So, I hope I did just that today. Hope y'all enjoyed my Christmas solo! Truth be told, I hadn't been that nervous since I first found myself in the production studio alone with Go Go. But it was fun! Singing. Not... yeah. You get it. Right... so then, I'm out like AI!

Peace in the NorthEast.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Trading coffee for wine...

So last week on the show I started my caffeine withdrawal. That's right, I'm only an intern and I'm already on a Just Say No to Coffee (JSNC) campaign. I am working with my demons, alongside the moral support and steadfast encouragement of Go Go, who has been equally caffeine-free as of late. Well... today on the show, my JSNC policy was interupted by the PLCB! What the hell does this mean?! Basically one substance was switched for another. Yes, the head of the Liquor Control Board of Pennsylvania stopped by. Of course he brought booze! Wine, to be exact. No more coffee at 8am. Wine! Bottle of red. Screw the bottle of white, Billy. Good old fashioned holiday wine. The general consesus was the bottle of "Abbey" was the champ. I'll have to find out it's exact name by tomorrow. It makes for a great impression on your significant other's parents. Especially if you just blurt out the pompous jargon on it, like aficionado AND chairman Jonathan Newman did this morning. I was taking note. Try something like this...

"Yeah, uhh...the NOSE on this bottle is pretty, pretty...it's good. It's strong. And it's a beautiful vintage...yeah...uh huh, very retro. Very groovy. Yes. The aromas are delicately balanced, with a distinct, sexy, FUN body...isn't it FUN?! Ahh! To die for, oh yes, delicious viscosity"

Just trust me. TRY it. You'll have the in-laws in your back POCKET! Who knew coffee was so boring?! Ahhhahaha, ah hah, ahh....uhhh. Actually I could go for one now. Strong. 3 creamers, hold sugar. Ok, forget what I said about the wine, I need a nap! See y'all tomorrow.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Hit n' Run, Part Deuce

Ok, so where'd we leave off? I was in hot pursuit of some frat boy on the streets of Philly (who knew a hit-and-run could sound so gay). That's the predicament I found myself in, and I wasn't about to get out of it! So I'm weaving through streets, traffic lights, this jerk-off is just trying to lose me, we're going through neighborhoods... and it was in a suburban neighborhood that I finally called off my hunt. Lame. I- Yeah, I know. Trust me, not the thrilling conclusion I was looking for either. But I was instructed by the 911 operator to call off the chase. Don't get hurt, she says. Don't get into another accident. On and on...And I TOLD her it was just some chump in his dad's sedan, probably driving home from a beer pong tournament! Let me at him! Doesn't a hit-and-run change the rules? Aren't I granted extra rights? A vigilante pass...a don't ask/don't tell policy, maybe a citizen's license to kill?! Nope. I had to call the chase off...

Then wait for a cop to come and tell me it was out of his district, I had to return to where he struck.
Then call the district it happened in, the next day.
Then come back to the district to file my report in person, not over the phone.
Then screw all that.

Good thing it's easy to bring people to justice these days! Gives me a nice, warm, safe feeling inside. So basically, the lesson here is... if you happen to bump a car, make a lil dent, maybe a scratch here or there... TAKE OFF! You know, it's no biggie. Lil' tappy-tap on the fender? Move along! Cause the guy you hit is gonna have to go through a more rigorous process than applying for a gun license! So remember that, listeners. I'm only here to help.

More pics to come, I hope you all have a Merry Chanukah!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Hit and Run!

Yep, I was involved in one the other day. Victim! Not culprit. And yeah, surprisingly it did not involve a Scion xB speeding away with a Giant at the wheel. You may remember a few weeks back, John's call about Brian- "Most likely to pull a hit-and-run" But I gotta vindicate the man... definitely NOT Giant Brian who rear ended me. Ok, bad choice of wording.

At any rate! One of my part-time gigs outside the show... I'm somewhat of a soldier in the war on obesity. And I never embellish. So... I'm on my normal evening delivery route, dropping coolers of health food off to "busy professionals" all over the DeBellaware Valley, and some dopey tan sedan plows into me from behind, while I'm trying to make a right at a light!

Ok, not a biggie. My neck was still in place, I got a plastic fender. Let's pull over and do the info trade. Maybe I can snag a couple hundred out of a claim. Maybe there's nothing and we move on with life...

"Errrrrrscrreeech" I look in the rear-view to see fratboy on his cell phone pullin a Dukes of Hazzard to get around me, then he proceeds to fly out into the intersection on a getaway! Exactly. Aww hellll no! Here's where JDB Show comes in handy. Acceptable or not acceptable to be victim of a hit-and-run when your car and body are still functioning? That's right. U-freakin-nanimous UNACCEPTABLE!

So I floor every ounce of the 20 horses powering my lil' Saturn wagon and we got ourselves a hot pursuit! I'm flashing my lights, laying on the horn, waving frantically to pull over... this asshole is acting like he's drivin' to Grandma's house for tea and Bible stories!

So I fumbled for a pen and try to make out his license plate... I'm not lying the first 3 letters were "MGK" in the distance. Is it Giant Brian?! Extreme bit for the show? Hey, interns got arrested before, who knows?! But I threw my lil wagon into 5th and sped up to see that it really was "GMK". Ok, false alarm. But this fool still hit me and he's not getting away with it! What happened next? Stay tuned to find out... !

And keep watching for the next chapter (photo) in "Drinking with DeBella"

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Better Late Than Neva...

Here's some insight into the start of my initiation into DeBella DeBalldom...

Bourbon Attack

More to come, from John's attempt to put hair on his intern's chest. Stay tuned!

It's Hump Day

Wednesday, of course. Sickos. This week really has been flying by...the show seems to be flying by faster than it ever has. Guess time really does fly when you're having fun! ...and talking to callers. LOTS of callers! The phones have been blinking more than an epileptic at a Pink Floyd concert. Lots of stuff goin on this time of the year in radio! We just keep givin ishh out. So listen! Constantly. Every day. Trust me, no show makes a better alarm clock than The John DeBella Show. Go ahead- try it. I mean, did you hear Brian gettin' his "Shout" on today? If that doesn't jerk you awake and make you wanna jump out of bed for dear life... well, I don't know what will. Maybe Go Go singing "I'm So Sexy." Ok, forget that was ever mentioned. Annnyyway... speaking of the DeBall, I gotta get my personal stash of pictures uploaded. That's my goal for the afternoon. Check in later for an intern's-eye view of what happened!

As always, peace in the NE.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Wassail Tov?

That's right, Wassail Tov! That's my holiday invention for the year...what do you think?! Mixing a door-to-door celebration of song and booze with an old Jewish blessing of good luck and fortune. Pretty badass, huh? I mean it's fun, seasonal, multi-cultural! I think I've got something here. How about this... Everyone start calling in and requesting that I, Intern Dave, need go out in the DeBellaware Valley and wassail up a freakin' storm! I could go on a mini-in-home-listener-sponsored tour. "Open your doors to the JDB Show and let John's intern sing you an old tune, wish you fortune, and sample your spiced wine" Just a sip, or 6. Genius. Any takers??

Ok, maybe I am delusional from my even earlier alarm clock as of late, due to the absence of Giant Brian. Fear not, though, the man, the myth, the behemoth WILL be back in-studio tomorrow! Minus the asscot. To that I look forward to, but even more exciting right now is the hearty NAP I'm about to take. Which I've needed since the DeBall. It's time has come. My time has past. Wassail Tov!!!

Monday, December 11, 2006

Hangover Post

So here I am, back in action on the DeBella Show, writing the obligatory and proverbial "hangover" post. It was a beautiful thing, taking Friday off. Especially with the full understanding of my colleagues. Whoever came up with that idea deserves a raise! Not in the budget? Lunch with the intern...on me. Takers? Anybody? Anyon- ...*ahem*...uhh...ok, forget it. The DeBall was indeed a freakin' ball! I had a great time out at the Sheraton, that is, my lovely lady and I (as she would correct me) had quite an extravagant night of walking around, rocking around, eating things we could never afford, in clothes we (I) could never afford...stalking the rockstar otherwise known as John DeBella... I was a groupie! I admit it! First time in my life that I combined my boss, myself, and a bottle of bourbon into a picture (or whatever that stuff was). And...yes...I suppose it was the first time a boss of mine groped my girlfriend. In front of me. Anything for a promotion! But heyy... it's been a week of firsts, what should I expect.

3 extra hours in bed, 4 painkillers and about 5 glasses of water was my prescription for a fun-filled Friday, WITHOUT worshipping the ivory bowl. Oh, and a vitamin. I'm taking my own advice. I'd pay money to see John's wake-up though! Sounded like his night lasted much longer than mine. And that's how a 25th annie SHOULD go down. I'm proud of the man!

Thanks to all 3 of you blog readers who stumbled upon me there. I was right on the money! I knew you were out there...nice meeting/chatting/whatever else I might have done... What a blur. Shout out to all the lovely staff at WMGK, everyone looked great out of casual Friday mode... shout out to the guy who kept the drinks flowing after the open bar shut down upstairs (if you could stomach oysters in your vodka), and lastly shout out to all the guys without dates who kept me busy playing overprotective boyfriend- Hope you lucked out at the bars later!

Let's do it again. Only 361 days left!

Thursday, December 7, 2006

It's Dress Up Time

Time to act like a grown up! At least on the surface... As most of you know, it's here. Today is the infamous day. Time to go out, get measured up, shine the shoes, comb your hair, comb your mustache, and of course, convince your sweetheart she looks amazing and can stop freakin' out! The DeBella DeBall is indeed tonight. I am personally very excited about this...lucky bastard I am, to have stumbled into this station at such a momentous time! Not too shabby for my first radio event. Gotta give my girlfriend strict cut-off orders. If there's anyone getting the wounded-soldier treatment outta the Sheraton, it's John, NOT his intern! Should be fun though, seeing everyone dolled up, who I otherwise always see in a perpetual "Casual Friday" state. Gotta love radio. Although my money says if you lift up Go Go's penguin suit, you'll find a an Eagles sweatshirt underneath. Go ahead, try it!

So I'm out of here! Lots of grooming to do, gameplanning for how I'm getting home. Any hotel parties?? Find me. I'm gonna ask Giant Bob and Patti Carothers... if you're flyin' in- you're getting wild. OK...I have an appointment at whatever shop it was that had the cheapest tux for rent in town. Hopefully they have stain insurance.

See y'all tonight!

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Back In Action

Or is it just plain "inaction"? Don't answer that! I forgot to stretch before going through the radio motions this morning, and got a C- on my report card. Which is passing for college! But for JDB 101? Hopefully I'm getting graded on a curve. Curves are good. Giant Brian has them all over his computer wallpaper. John's mustache! Hmmm...

Whatever the case... t'was a welcome return to the MGK studio today for yet another radio adventure! December 1st was my last stint and I apologize. A lot has happened since then. I found myself everywhere from a treestand in the backwoods of Quakertown, PA to Time's Square, New Yawk City. I found myself in a variety of situations, saw a pitbull fight at a dogpark, caught a great rock show, killed some Mexican (food), and did everything from stringing up a deer to Christmas lights (more on that later). Long, eventful hiatus I done had. Even for the doldroms of intern life!

Tomorrow is the big one though. I gotta have my gameface on for sure. DeBella De-freakin-ball! Hope to see the 3 of you who read this there! I'm off to the tux rental joint...

Friday, December 1, 2006

Weekday Warrior

So there it was! It's in the books. My first official full-length week on the John DeBella Show. What a freakin' blur! From over 6,000 turkeys, to people stuffing their faces for cash, to metrosexual proclivities, bad names, throw in celebrity shamings, a few rants, and a Bob Saget on top... *whew* I barely had time to change my outfit. Brian told me to yesterday though, so I did. And what happened? The phones went down. But John prevailed. One of the biggest lessons I've learned from him so far- Don't panic. Just curse.

Seems to work! All in all I'd say we had a great week of radio, I certainly enjoyed it. I am thankful to be a part of this lil camp here... even if I do get ambushed with surprise letters from my girlfriend on the air! She's allowed to talk her "isshh" (radio edit). Afterall, she really does put up with 3 snoozes at 5am each morning. Although I must say, being the kind, considerate boyfriend that I am, I changed my alarm from Verizon's kooky "Ring 3" to the dreamy "Arabesque". It's like... waking up on a carpet ride with Aladdin.


Right. On that note! Until next week...
Peace in the Northeast.