Thursday, November 30, 2006

Listen to your mom...

Take your damn vitamins! And get a good night's sleep. More than 5 hours. More than 6 hrs. Especially in morning radio. John told me my second day in... "You think it's easy now, don't ya...punk. You got up early 2 days in a row...just wait til WEEK 2 hits!" I don't know why I made him sound like Dirty Harry there, but... my point being- PROBABLY shoulda taken the advice of someone who's been getting up before the crack of dawn for longer than I've existed.

I've been telling myself (at the behest of my girlfriend) START POPPIN' VITAMINS! I'll even consider going oldschool, a bottle of Flintstone's...anything! They make up for those missing 2 hours of sleep, they are tasty, and all kinds of other neat things. Scared of getting rickets or bleeding diathesis? Pop a lil D2, maybe a lil vitamin K. Bam. Blocked. 800% daily value and whatnot. Give it to me! What do I got to lose? Maybe it was fate then, that I found myself in conversation today with John and Giant Brian over Betty Rubble. Not on the health benefits of eating her, but rather, how hot a piece of cartoon ass she was. To which I agreed! But I am going to take that as a sign, an omen of sorts. I am leaving the station today and searching out a big fat bottle. I refuse to remain sick and miss out on my first full week of The JDB Show! Not happenin'.

And Bob Saget's calling in. I'm there.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Acceptable is UNacceptable!

So today on the show we learned that "metrosexuality" is apparently on it's way out. Call me skeptic, but until all men's pink undershirts get the disco treatment, a la Shea Stadium... the metros are here to stay! Today, after the 5 phonecall jury yielded a decisive and SHOCKING verdict- that manicures were ACCEPTABLE, I just gotta say... interns aint always dumb. So get that straight. We know a thing or two! Ok, a thing.

But honestly, come on loyal classic rock listeners! Y'all are from the days of blue collar grit, dirty jeans, American cars, songs about chicks, booze and workin in factories! What happened to all that?! Hell, even housewives had more balls than your average dude on the street today! Ok to get your nails done?? I'd rather scratch them on a chalk board.

Now I know what you're saying... Dave, come on, you have to have some nasty little girly secrets hidden in the man closet... no way you're getting off this easy! OK. Fair. Point taken. I'm no Hulk Hogan, Rambo, or the ultimate... Bond. I'll admit, my ass is as smooth and round as the day I was born... BUT! If it WERE a hairy, mangey mess like most dudes, I would NOT be seeking out a wax job. Some things are just meant to be. Like men being men.

-MAN(not)I(n need of)CURE

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Give Me Money!

No, not because someone dropped the N-bomb on me. Those don't hurt. The Crack-bomb? That's in the job description for living in North Philly. What I'm talking about is my dead-set LOCK of Scott winning the Biggest Gainer contest! The man did not disappoint. And speaking of bombs... that guy dropped a 19 POUNDER on those 4 other poor contestants yesterday. We shoulda thrown down money on it in the studio. Even if it was one of DeBella's famous dollar bets. That coulda been one delicious bag of party mix from the kitchen vending machine. Oh well... there's always more competitions in radio.

Not only competitions, but swanky affairs too, it seems. I gotta say, I'm starting to feel the heat from this DeBella DeBall. My girlfriend has been in a tizzy over the fact that I'm going to have to track down a tux. And wear it. For a whole night. Last time I did that, I still had my v-card, a bad case of pimples and a hard time finding someone to buy the liquor. But I'm up for a challenge! Maybe we should take bets on how many stains I'll have to get removed the next day...

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Biggest Gainer??

We shall see who it is on Monday! My money is going to stay on human-bio Scott. I'm highly doubting the will of the women to have any astronomical increase of weight broadcast all over the tri-state area. I'm tempted to go with the fan favorite, Tiny, but I'll stick with my first instinct. Don't know about you, but I am very excited about this, as it is my first in-studio contest! If you tuned in today, you would know I am definitely NOT in the running. Only the kind that happens in the hallway outside the studio when Tiny is called in. I gotta be honest, this guy makes Giant Brian look like Tiny Tim. I probably looked like the zipper on Tiny's jeans, standing next to him. A true competitor.

So that was my morning. Not your average week (2 days) on the John DeBella Show. Before I forget, I would like to take use this paragraph to wish my fellow co-workers/ tormentors a most joyous Holiday! Watch the turkey hangover, have fun with the in-laws, and don't get caught playing footsie under the table with your cousin. Happy Thanksgivin'!

Peace in Pilgrim land.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Where's John?!

Today was an interesting way to start the week. I gotta start out and say... it's a lot of fun walking in and seeing my man Go Go behind the wheel! While John, Brian and Jen braved the elements outside today in search of turkeys, Go Go and I held the fort down back at the station. And much to everyone's surprise, you didn't hear any dead air, botched phone calls or equipment explosions. Mission accomplished. And I've never had so many conversations about turkey in my life. The lines were FLOODED with charitible people... so thank you to everyone who helped us out. That's right, not one jerkoff call the entire morning! It sounded like the Turkey Drop was a resounding success. Much love.

So, that slams the book on my first "remote" experience in radio. Not too shabby of one either, with all our MGK troops deployed around the DeBellaware Valley. Quite the crash course in remote broadcasting... I gotta throw props to Professor Rich "Go Go" Russo for his teaching! Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Eve. You might say I'm excited.

Turkeys fight food insecurity! Donate, y'all.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Best Buy. Worst Result.

I want to start this post out by saying that working in a radio station does NOT curb your manly instinct to indulge in slick new electronic gear. After spending each morning watching DeBella navigate the master controls of the WMGK mothership, I definitely start to get the techno-itch. And last night... I scratched that bastard. Sort of.

See, I've been struggling through a battle most guys can relate to. I was on a mission to buy a new, top-o-the-line, mirror spinning, plasma-dripping, LC whatever- I NEED A BADASS TV! Period.

I spent too much time writing down the names of our listeners who won plasma TVs THEMSELVES. I want in! And since I'd be carted off to jail for trying an in-station prize scam (Brian pussed out) I decided to just go down to the local Best Buy and do the damn thang. Sure, I'm broke, but that's what credit is for. Yes, mine is still in the 3 digit category, but that's my problem. Not yours.

Long story short, I went through the hassle of haggling, price-matching, rebates, promotional offers, free tv stands, blah blah blah... had the deal of a lifetime. Put $900 on credit. Paid $600. Debitted $115. Filled out the warranty card. Validated my Reward Zone. Sold my soul as collateral. And what happened next? TV wasn't in stock.

Gotta run! Gonna go home and pass out to HBO on my 14" Samsung picture box.

Peace in the Northeast Best Buy. Unless they don't have my TV by Monday.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Somebody stole my Starbucks...

And I'm pissed. Not at whoever nabbed it, but at myself. Idiot! I mean, I saw this day coming a mile away. It's an office. It's sharing one fridge with 50 other humans. What do you think would happen if you shared a bank account with 50 other humans? Or a girl with 50 other frat brothers? Think about that one. Ok, I know bankruptcy and herpies hardly compare to losing a bag of buzz, but come on! Doesn't take long to realize that in office-culture, coffee IS the gold standard, the hot chick everyone wants. Coffee is the lifeforce. People walk into the kitchen and see an empty pot and it's like they got stood up on prom night. I can relate! I had a hot Latin American blend date taken from a plastic bag no less, tucked away in the back corner, behind some sissy-ass yogurt containers. Prime spot. Or so I thought...

I'm an intern. We learn things the hard way. Thank God for Go Go and his dark roast. And Giant Brian's hot cocoa (gay). I'll be back in action tomorrow... Turkeys are ideal, but I'll accept a coffee drop if there are any takers! Must. Stay. Awake. Thank you, goodnight.

Peace in the Northeast.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Happy 24th Year in Philly!

I gotta start out today by saying congratulations to John... you have been gracing the airwaves of Philadelphia for exactly as long as I have existed. On August 8th, 1982, my mother had enough! After 10 months of lugging me around inside it was time to expose me to the world. And although I'm sure your debut, just 2 months later, did NOT involve a scalpel, stomach staples and anestegia... God nonetheless smiled when it happened. And then regretted it for the rest of time.

Go Go! Get the hell out of my cubicle so I can finish this blog in time! F'n Go Go... I was saying, I have to throw some props to the man who has graced the greater Tri-state area with HIS presence for just as long as I've been around. Fate? Destiny? Probably not. All I know is, John, if and when you ever quit radio, let's hope I don't keel over dead. I will haunt you.

Peace in the Northeast.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

On Your Mark. Get Set...

BLOG?! Apparently so. John DeBella demands it- I obey. Why, you say? Because I'm his intern, dammit! It's just what we do... and love to do, at that. Swear. Yeah, I know... "Don't take any crap from anybody (microphone off) ...unless you're an intern! WahAhaha*nose sound* hawaha ha" That's how it is. There's your insider's look for the day. More to come! Like what Giant Brian doesn't want his wife to know... but I digress. After several weeks of early alarm-setting, story-searching, stack-stapling, show-stopping shenanigans... I find myself here. With you, online, faithful JDB listeners. You are inside the mind of myself, Dave the Intern. "The internal intern". Be glad you have the luxury of tuning in and out of it! I'm stuck here. Peer in anytime you like... I'll be dishing the juice on all the crap I DO put up with from this big dumb show, and the even BIGGER dumb show I like to call... Life. Peace in the Northeast.