Thursday, March 22, 2007

Crap, I'm Below 'E'...

So yesterday I realized something. I don't know if it was an epiphany, or just a sad, sad wake up call. I am nothing without technology. Completely inept. Worthless! I was late for the show and went back to get my wallet... then hopped on the Blvd and realized i had forgotten my GPS unit as well. All good... I can get to the station with my eyes closed. It practically is that dark at 530am anyway.

But I got drum lessons afterward, in the suburbs. Oh God. Woods, windy roads, gated communities and golf courses. Only soccer moms at my disposal for directions. OK! That's where I should have "thrown in the towel", excuse the lame pun. But honestly, breaking down would have gotten me less lost than I did thinking I could figure it OUT! I ended up calling the gal to mapquest my way out of suburban hell over the phone.

So next thing, I'm stuck in Philly's 4:30 rush hour on the Schuykill. Oh, look! My gas needle decided to take a nose dive below the little orange landing strip! Jesus, I don't even have anything white, or clothy to hang out the window. Does a blue t-shirt/ oil rag work?? Will that count?! I'm gonna get towed! I'm gonna be out of gas AND paying Lew Blum $250 to get my wagon back. Damn you, technology, you've rendered me useless!

So what happened? I desperately got off Route 1, got lost in the ghetto of Germantown searching for gas. NO ONE drives in Germantown! It's a Septa mecca. I think I passed 24 bus stops before I saw what could be a ghetto mirage. I did 3 miles on fumes to finally stumble into a Hess where I would have gotten crack cheaper than a gallon of gas. And I almost did!

Ok, my point?! Don't forget your damn navigation system. Don't forget to fill up. Don't turn off Route 1 until at least Broad St. Thank me later...