Friday, January 12, 2007

And you thought Fabio had driving troubles...

Well, turns out he did. And it was a let down. But it was getting lost and being split up from his wagon train of followers that did it! Not the cops pulling him over. Like they did to me...twice... in the past 2 weeks.

Never before in my life have I been pulled over until now! TWICE! Within 10 days! DRIVING A SATURN STATION WAGON! I'm trying to come to grips with the how and the why. One thing must be said... I am by no means a Sunday driver. There's serious mileage under my belt. I have driven bakery vans in NYC, tour vans across country, MGK station vans with bad brakes... I have seen more white lines than Studio 54 in the 70's. And when do I get 2 tickets? Driving through the suburbs of Philly on my delivery route, in a station wagon!

It's true. Life isn't fair. You just got accept that and as John knows, "Look on the brightside of life!" Which is excellent advice. But I'll tell ya, after 5 hours of a delivery route, with one stop left in Hatboro... falling prey to a stop-sign ambush kind of puts a kink in your day! But it happened. I slid through one on a dark, deserted suburb street, and out of the shadows comes Captain Priority! Keeping the mean Hatboro streets safe from station wagon propulsion. In the 1st degree. I premeditated that awful, heinous semi-stop!

So anyway, I have about $223 in city debt now, and a couple citations whose grammar resembles that of a 2nd grade book report. Honestly, I gotta respect cops for their hard line of work. But Dammit! These guys I got "barley" knew how to "compleat" a sentence. Quotes there for a reason.

So be careful, fellow wagoneers of minor-offensive-tendencies! Sure, 4 thugs on ATVs just zig-zagged down the middle of Broad St, and a tinted Buick with cheap rims just crossed 4 lanes without one blink, and hey! Look over there! A hit-and-run of a nun with candy, teddy bears and an infant in her arms! But hey... you slid through a suburban stop sign goin' 3 mph. Book 'em.

Rant over. Back to the brightside... it's Friday! GO BIRDS!