Thursday, January 18, 2007

Let it snow... somewhere else.

I just want to start out this blog and thank the good Lord for the lack of winter wonderland this year. Because to be certain, if we DID have one at this point, I would be walking in it. Without even the consulation of a fire to conspire next to. So I'm throwing it out there now: first semi-decent snowstorm, I will most likely be writing this blog from my living room that show day.

"Winter is to Intern Dave's station wagon as the playoffs are to Philly sports teams"

That actually showed up on my first SAT exam. True story. Followed by...

"Snowstorm is to crap Saturn as Superbowl is to --" OK YOU GET THE PICTURE!

My car is just bad. Terrible. To be fair, I do drive it about 500 miles a week. So what? Gotta make a living somehow. Should that validate the wheels slipping when I run over a puddle of malt liquor? Or popping a flat just cause I ran over a spent bullet casing?! Hmm... on second thought maybe it's not the car, just the city. Nah. It's the Saturn. What is that anyway? Is that even American? Sounds pseudo-Japanese. What, is it supposed to be from another world?! Saturn, pfff! What kinda assinine boomer burn-out CEO came up with that idea. "Yeah, ya know, it's like...the car of the future maaan... it's like you're drivin' on the moon, bro. The public is gonna dig."

No, the public is gonna get pissed. Especially after your 3rd tow-truck rendevous at 2am, in whatever ghetto you broke down in, with the assistance of some ex-con from a no-name garage in Fishtown. KINDA makes you wish Saturn would just make like Pluto and get the hell outta here! 'Nuff said.

Peace in the hopefully break-down free NorthEast.