Friday, December 15, 2006

Hit n' Run, Part Deuce

Ok, so where'd we leave off? I was in hot pursuit of some frat boy on the streets of Philly (who knew a hit-and-run could sound so gay). That's the predicament I found myself in, and I wasn't about to get out of it! So I'm weaving through streets, traffic lights, this jerk-off is just trying to lose me, we're going through neighborhoods... and it was in a suburban neighborhood that I finally called off my hunt. Lame. I- Yeah, I know. Trust me, not the thrilling conclusion I was looking for either. But I was instructed by the 911 operator to call off the chase. Don't get hurt, she says. Don't get into another accident. On and on...And I TOLD her it was just some chump in his dad's sedan, probably driving home from a beer pong tournament! Let me at him! Doesn't a hit-and-run change the rules? Aren't I granted extra rights? A vigilante pass...a don't ask/don't tell policy, maybe a citizen's license to kill?! Nope. I had to call the chase off...

Then wait for a cop to come and tell me it was out of his district, I had to return to where he struck.
Then call the district it happened in, the next day.
Then come back to the district to file my report in person, not over the phone.
Then screw all that.

Good thing it's easy to bring people to justice these days! Gives me a nice, warm, safe feeling inside. So basically, the lesson here is... if you happen to bump a car, make a lil dent, maybe a scratch here or there... TAKE OFF! You know, it's no biggie. Lil' tappy-tap on the fender? Move along! Cause the guy you hit is gonna have to go through a more rigorous process than applying for a gun license! So remember that, listeners. I'm only here to help.

More pics to come, I hope you all have a Merry Chanukah!