Thursday, December 14, 2006

Hit and Run!

Yep, I was involved in one the other day. Victim! Not culprit. And yeah, surprisingly it did not involve a Scion xB speeding away with a Giant at the wheel. You may remember a few weeks back, John's call about Brian- "Most likely to pull a hit-and-run" But I gotta vindicate the man... definitely NOT Giant Brian who rear ended me. Ok, bad choice of wording.

At any rate! One of my part-time gigs outside the show... I'm somewhat of a soldier in the war on obesity. And I never embellish. So... I'm on my normal evening delivery route, dropping coolers of health food off to "busy professionals" all over the DeBellaware Valley, and some dopey tan sedan plows into me from behind, while I'm trying to make a right at a light!

Ok, not a biggie. My neck was still in place, I got a plastic fender. Let's pull over and do the info trade. Maybe I can snag a couple hundred out of a claim. Maybe there's nothing and we move on with life...

"Errrrrrscrreeech" I look in the rear-view to see fratboy on his cell phone pullin a Dukes of Hazzard to get around me, then he proceeds to fly out into the intersection on a getaway! Exactly. Aww hellll no! Here's where JDB Show comes in handy. Acceptable or not acceptable to be victim of a hit-and-run when your car and body are still functioning? That's right. U-freakin-nanimous UNACCEPTABLE!

So I floor every ounce of the 20 horses powering my lil' Saturn wagon and we got ourselves a hot pursuit! I'm flashing my lights, laying on the horn, waving frantically to pull over... this asshole is acting like he's drivin' to Grandma's house for tea and Bible stories!

So I fumbled for a pen and try to make out his license plate... I'm not lying the first 3 letters were "MGK" in the distance. Is it Giant Brian?! Extreme bit for the show? Hey, interns got arrested before, who knows?! But I threw my lil wagon into 5th and sped up to see that it really was "GMK". Ok, false alarm. But this fool still hit me and he's not getting away with it! What happened next? Stay tuned to find out... !

And keep watching for the next chapter (photo) in "Drinking with DeBella"